Modesty

I have been reading lots of things about modesty on different blogs: The Modest Mom, Raising Arrows and Raising Mighty Arrows (I'm still not sure how to add a link???) and all that reading brought to mind a paper my oldest wrote when she was sixteen. I want to share it with you here. I hope you enjoy it as much as do. She has a lots of quotes from books she's read and those books are all cited at the bottom.


Modesty: What Message Are You Sending?

What is modesty? “[Modesty] is a state of mind or disposition that expresses a
humble estimate of one’s self before God. Modesty, like humility, is the opposite of
boldness or arrogance. It doesn’t seek to draw attention to itself or show off in an
unseemly way. Modesty is an element of Christian character, and our dress should make

the same ‘profession’ that we do” (Jeff Pollard “Christian Modesty and The Public
Undressing of America”pg.19). Regina Franklin in her book titled “Designed by God”
says, “Contrary to what many may think, modesty is not about hiding our bodies because
they are shameful; it’s about covering them because they are valuable. When we dress
modestly we send the message that our bodies are not cheap.”(pg. 45) “As you might
guess, the modesty--or lack thereof--in our hearts is manifested not only in our clothes
but also in our behavior. It is possible for a girl to be dressed irreproachably but to be
shamefully immodest in behavior—by flirting, being loud and boisterous, by attracting
the wrong kind of attention to herself in the wrong way” ( “So Much More” by Anna
Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin pg. 84 & 85). Your self-image when immodest in apparel and
actions can lead to an identity which is not pleasing to God.

You send messages to everybody in the way that you act, look, and dress. Most of us
don’t think about the message we are sending to the one that is most important—Christ.
What is God seeing: modest or immodest heart issues? Are you submitting to His will
and giving Him what He deserves? “God doesn’t expect us to do something that can’t be accomplished. If we are determined to walk in His beauty, He will give us the ability to
be modest…When God cares about something, He doesn’t just tell us what to do, He
enables us to do it. If He cares about modesty, He will provide the wisdom to make godly
choices in what we wear…Remember, modesty is defined by our heart, and the things we
treasure indicate the condition of our heart: ‘Where your treasure is, there your heart will
be also’ (Matthew 6:21)” ( Regina Franklin pg. 51).

How does a godly woman dress & interact with others? Paul tells us in 1 Timothy that a
woman is to “adorn [herself] in godly apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety” (1
Timothy 2:9). “A virtuous woman’s dress must glorify God(Regina Franklin pg.
84)…The theologian Henry Van Til accurately observed that culture is religion
externalized. In the same way that culture is a nation’s religion revealed, clothing is an
individual’s religion revealed (and every person is religious). Clothes make a statement.
They proclaim to people who you are, what you believe, what you are worth, to whom
you belong, what you admire, what you aspire to, what you are for, and whether you are
protected or cheap…We need our own messages to declare exactly the opposite [of the
world’s]—I am loved, I am cherished, I am protected, I am a woman of virtue, I am
submitted to God, I am part of a civilized society, I am worth more than rubies, there is a
part of me that is not to be stared at by strangers because it belongs to my future
husband( pg. 82 & 83)…we are ambassadors of the most High King. For His glory, we
should dress in a way that is worthy of our high calling. Our appearances have to glorify
God, though, and not ourselves.(pg. 87)”(Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin). Therefore, a
godly woman should dress like she is submitted to God and belongs to God.

A godly woman should not only dress modestly but act modestly also. Anna Sofia and
Elizabeth Botkin give this example “A godly daughter is her father’s graceful pillar,
fashioned for a palace (Psalm 144:12). In her daddy’s palace, she is beautifying,
supportive, and hospitable. When outside the walls of her daddy’s palace, she is his
ambassador, representative, and “arrow in the hand of a mighty warrior” (Psalm
127:4&5). Through her countenance, carriage, and demeanor, she leaves the world in no
doubt that she is a girl submitted to her father’s protection, the daughter of a king, a
princess worthy of honor. Amidst a generation of giddy, silly, loud, boisterous,
undignified, clumsy teenaged girls, picture a girl who radiates dignity, regal serenity,
respectfulness, grace, a gentle and quiet voice, poise, discretion, self-command, sincerity,
quality.”(pg. 80 &81)

Modesty is very important in reference to guys. “When a girl dresses in a way that leaves
an unfinished picture, she invites others to think about what they’re not seeing. A bra
strap leads to the bra, the underwear waistband leads to the underwear itself—and both
lead a guy to think about the body parts they’re covering. We can avoid this by making
sure our underwear stays under what we wear—that’s why it’s called underwear”
(Regina Franklin pg.49). “Immodest clothing causes others to be distracted and tempts
them to sin. It’s wrong for us to dress in a way that tempts men to think of us in a way
other than ‘as sisters, with all purity’ (1 Timothy 5:2). Matthew 5:28 warns, ‘But I say
unto you, that whosoever looketh on woman to lust after her committed adultery with her
already in his heart.’ Adultery is a serious sin, and tempting men to commit a serious sin
is seriously wrong. Yes, men are responsible for keeping their own thoughts pure. But
when we do our brothers harm by tempting them to sin, we are sinning against them and
against God” (pg. 85)… “Solomon was the wisest man in the world, Samson was the
strongest man in the world, and David was the most righteous man in the world. But one
thing that was strong enough to defeat them all was the femme fatale, the fatal woman.
We, as women, can wield a very dangerous kind of power, and that kind of power can be
twisted into something very ungodly. Unfortunately, we may enjoy that feeling of power,
and this is a dangerous feeling for us.” (pg.86) ( Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin)

Men say, “Our eyes give us men the means to sin broadly and at will…we have a visual
ignition switch when it comes to viewing the female anatomy. Women seldom
understand this because they aren’t sexually stimulated in the same way…Because women can’t relate, they seldom have little mercy on us and rarely choose to dress
modestly…But visual sexual gratification is no laughing matter in our fight for sexual
purity…Even Christian girls push their wardrobes far beyond modesty, sporting short
shorts, tight t-shirts, and bare midriffs.” (Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, and Mike
Yorkey—“Every Young Man’s Battle: Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual
Temptation”)

Not only does the way we dress effect men, but also the way that we carry our body. This
is a HUGE stumbling block for men. “Clothes affect behavior. If you wear something
cute, you feel cute; if you wear something comfortable, you feel relaxed, likewise, if you
wear something sexual (even though it may be underwear you don’t intend anyone else to
see), you feel sexual. When we feel sexual, we send off sexual signals. You may not even
intend to act in a teasing way, but clothes that make you feel sexy will cause you to be
more flirtatious than usual or push past boundaries you don’t intend to overstep.”
(Regina Franklin pg. 49). We need to be VERY careful of how we act in front of men.
Bending over with our backside to men, bending over where they might see down our
shirt, walking like you think you’re cute, and running with your breasts bouncing, are all
BIG stumbling blocks for men. You can be covered from head to toe in clothing and still
be sensual and cause a man to stumble.

When you dress immodestly you tear down your wall of protection. “A destroyed
wall brings shame because an exposed city lacks strength and identity. The world tells
you that showing skin makes you beautiful, but it really makes you naked and
vulnerable… Obedience to the Lord is often costly and lonely. At times you may even be
mocked for not looking like everyone else (pg. 53)…When you value God’s opinion above all others, you will begin to see the true beauty of modesty (pg.54)…Finding our
beauty in Christ is like restoring the temple, but the rebuilding doesn’t end there. We still
need a wall of protection. Being a young woman of true beauty requires the protective
wall of modesty. Building a wall of modesty is no easy task, but neither was rebuilding
the wall of Jerusalem (pg.52).” (Regina Franklin).

When you dress immodestly you’re sending messages of rebellion to your parents
(unless, of course your parents don’t have high standards in dress and don’t dress
modestly themselves). “In the same way that [your parents] are responsible in keeping
you from making a foolish vow or commitment, they are to protect your character and
reputation, and to protect you from making a mistake by revealing yourself. If your father
(or mother) is concerned about the way you dress, you are blessed! You have a parent
who loves you enough to want to protect you. We need to ask our fathers to set standards
and make guidelines for us, instead of resisting them or pushing their limits. Because our
fathers are men, they know what other men would find a stumbling block. They also
know how they want their ambassadors to represent them.” (Anna Sofia and Elizabeth
Botkin pg. 91 & 92)

We, as Christians, are witnesses. We are watched by the people around us. We set
an example. We shouldn’t want to set a bad example for the believers and God by the
way we dress. 1 Timothy 4:12 says this, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an
example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”
Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin have this testimony of a girl in their book, “I can
remember several examples of people talking to me about Christianity before I was
saved. I remember several girls in school who said they were Christian, but who behaved
no differently than any of the other girls in the school. They would dress immodestly, go
out with boys, use bad language and many other bad things. In fact, the only way I knew
they were Christians is because they would occasionally talk about attending church or
activities with their church youth group. Now these girls were exactly like me, they
dressed the same, they talked about the same things, and yet the fact that they were just
like me wasn’t a reason for me to listen to them talking about their religion; it was a
reason for me not to listen to them, precisely because it seemed to me that they were no
different. This religion they were talking about couldn’t be a big deal if its followers
seemed just like everybody else! Besides, why would I listen to ‘advice’ from people
who seemed to act just like me—what could they possibly teach me?” (pg.83 & 84)
What message are we sending to those around us?

What about when we go to the store or anywhere? What message are you sending
to the strangers and/or “perverts” around you? Are you sending the message that you are
protected and you value yourself enough to cover yourself and build a wall of protection?
There are many cases of rape in the world. This is because this is the area where women
are most vulnerable. The men take something away from you that is very special and
meant for only one person. Once that very special gift is taken, we will never be able to
get it back and we will suffer the pain of the experience for the rest of our life. We need
to dress in a way that will keep the men around us from thinking impure thoughts about
us and our body as best as we can. True, there are “dirty old men” out there that will
think things no matter how we dress, but they are responsible for that, not us. “To
become the woman God designed you to be, you must guard the wall of modesty that
protects the temple of your body. Overtime, little things like minor compromises can
weaken your protection. Our bodies were created to worship, not to be worshipped. We
were made in God’s image, and modesty indicates that we recognize our value and our
need for protection” (pg.54 & 53)… “When we value the powerful sexuality that God has
given us, we choose to clothe our bodies enough to cover them. Pants that are too tight
are just as immodest as a skirt that is too short…Remember, we want people to be drawn
toward our hearts as they convey our love for God, not our bodies as they call attention to
our flesh” (pg.48) (Regina Franklin)

It is in a man’s nature to enjoy a woman’s body. I believe God created men this
way so that they might enjoy the wife God gives and “be fruitful and multiply”. We
cannot expect men with loose standards, professing believers or not, to treat us with
respect just because we are women. The culture that we live in has not created many
gentlemen. Television, movies, magazines, fashion and peers all seem to be working to create a generation of crude, disrespectful men. Therefore, we must take responsibility
for our part and dress modestly, and act modestly and graciously as we deal with men of
all types and ages, constantly aware of their “wiring”. But, if they are Christian, have
high standards for themselves because they fear God, and keep a pure heart and mind,
then they have more ability through Christ’s strength to turn their eyes when they see a
woman dressed inappropriately. Job said, “I have made a covenant with mine eyes, why
should I then think upon a maiden?” Job turned his head because he was righteous but he
also reveals something to us here. Apparently there is a definite connection between
what a man sees and what he then thinks. We MUST be responsible in our choices and
make sure that what he sees when he looks at us is not our flesh, but our godly attitude.
HE is then responsible for what he thinks.

What about the message you are sending to yourself? I quoted something earlier
Regina Franklin had in her book, “Clothes affect behavior. If you wear something cute,
you feel cute; if you wear something comfortable, you feel relaxed. Likewise, when you
wear something sexual, you feel sexual.” (pg.49) Do you feel insecure about the way you
look? “What we wear sends a message, and we’re often unaware of what it is. We are so
accustomed to immodesty, we seldom think about it. But we should. If we don’t value our bodies by being modest, neither will others (pg.46)…Putting on an outfit
communicates more than your sense of style; it communicates the condition of your
heart. If our hearts are positioned toward the world, we’ll dress to fit in. But if our hearts
are positioned toward God, we will dress to please Him. Our value is not determined by
what we wear, but what we wear communicates what we think our value is. Pants that
ride too low, shirts that show too much, or clothes that are too clingy send the message
that we think our bodies are not worth protecting (pg. 45 & 46)…Dressing immodestly
indicates that you care more about fitting in with peers than reflecting the image of your
Creator. You put your faith on display whenever you put your clothes on—or take them
off(pg. 51).”( Regina Franklin) Not only are you sending messages to those around you
about what you believe, you’re sending messages to yourself about who you are. Is your
body valued enough by you? “When you value God’s opinion above all others, you will
begin to see the true beauty of modesty…Which do you value more: the approval of the
world or of God? To whom are you more obedient—the world that doesn’t know you or
the God that created and formed you? (pg. 54)...Modesty isn’t just about choosing what
to wear—it’s about knowing who we are: the temple of the living God.” (pg.55)(Regina
Franklin)

Modesty—or a lack of—speaks a message for you to others. What statement are
you making?





Works cited—
“Designed by God” by Regina Franklin

“Christian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America” by Jeff Pollard

The Bible 

“So Much More” by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin

www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse